I wanted to start this entry with the line, ‘Where have I been?’, but it’s in the heading, so I’m writing something else instead. How sneaky was that? Actually, this post has barely anything walking related, so if you’re sitting there with your zip-off pants and boots on, then you may have to check out something else. Don’t worry though, as I’ll include some random photos from my ‘odds and sods’ collection to give you something to look at.
I’ve being thinking about this blogging caper the last week and it’s feeling a little stale, so I’ve decided to have the odd entry adopt the three ‘R’s of writing. Rambling, rumination and rubbish. These may be shorter or longer (is this possible?) than most of my normal entries. Everyone needs an entry here and there outside the usual blog fare and I’ve come with a fancy name for these entries. ‘Filler’.
Firstly, it’s being brought to my attention I have a lot of dick jokes or references in my posts. Well, I stood up for myself and said, “What do you expect? I’m a bloke. What else can I write about?” I think there’s not a lot of junk jokes in my blog, but I’ll issue a disclaimer in future. Oh yeah, by the way, there’ll be no mention of my cock in this entry, as it’s family friendly (other than the mention just then and in the entire actual paragraph).
In my filler, you’ll also find some random photographs of things I’ve come across at home. Before you choke on your croissant, what I mean is this. I’ve got a scanner, which I bought last summer and have never actually used. This is because Ben (youth makes one a groovy software guru) was going to show me how to use it. Instructions? Bah, I always find software instructions are written by people who know how the product works and in a language that I don’t understand. Words like ‘output profile’, ‘TWAIN data source’ and ‘computer’ mean nothing to me, so I rely on some youthful enthusiasm to teach me.
Over a bag of peanut M&M’s, he showed me how to turn it on and as a result there’s no holding me back now. I decided in the world of Google image searches for ‘Ian Curtis’ there are a number of crappy little photos online. What? I want massive, so I’m going to contribute to the universe some massive bloody pictures. Here’s my first scanning attempt (remember I’ve only got up to the ‘switch on’ stage so far).
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Pictures like these may appear randomly, just for other Joy Division nuts to appreciate. In fact, this is one of the iconic Ian Curtis photos, as it contains all you need to know.
Certified rock star starved look, trousers and shiny shirt, manic focused eyes and last, but not least, the trademark flailing of the arms dance. I can imagine the noise being pumped out when this photo by Kevin Cummins was taken. How about some more Joy Division imagery?
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Okay, there you go. I used to have an old cassette player whilst in the army in Townsville and on those hot, humid North Queensland nights, I’d crank the bejesus out of that player with a bit of Joy Division. My favourite of many is ‘Colony’ and it sounds like nothing I’ve heard since. It’s like the sound of machinery in a foundry, instead of musical instruments. Industrial mayhem at its best.
As it was cranked up, inevitably there would be banging on the wall from next door, accompanied by a screaming, “Turn that crap off!”. Arno Bross was the occupant in the next room and yes, he may have had the best army name of all time.
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A lot of ugly mugs here and unfortunately I’m one of them.
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There were a few oddballs in the army. As an example, I used to work with a bloke who on exercise at night, would swig from a bottle of Worcestershire Sauce. This strange behaviour apparently kept him awake during gun picquet.
Mind you, I can almost understand his actions, as sitting in a perimeter gun pit was insanely dull. Staring out into the dark, looking for any signs of movement. What’s worse is that inevitably, just as the shift was about to change, we’d get attacked and I’d be cursing the ‘enemy’. “Not now you bastards! I want to go to bed!”
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Super grainy training
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What else has been going on? Well, I think I got sacked by a follower, as the number dropped by one the other night. I immediately launched a detailed forensic examination to locate the offender and I managed to find out it was my first ever follower, ‘GreeniesGoneBush’.
Hang on? First to join and first to go? It’s ‘GreeniesGoneBush’ to ‘GreeniesPissedOffSomewhere’. I couldn’t do much else, but as it appears ‘GreeniesGoneNuts’, I felt compelled to sack him as well. What’s going on Greenie? Can I stop writing the word ‘Greenie’ now?
It feels like grammar mayhem. Come to think of it, I read something the other day, which said in relation to punctuation,
“…duplicate marks show weakness as a writer; your words should convey the strength of the emotion without all the punctuation…”
Well, what can I say, but it looks like I’m fucked!!!
I’m aware I may occasionally abuse exclamation marks, but it’s an old ploy to have the reader feel as if I’m extremely excitable. Full of boundless energy, when in reality I’m sitting on the couch in a faded Dale Earnhardt Jnr t-shirt with a completely straight look on my face.
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Typing exclamation marks right now
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Actually, work decided I needed a double appointment with a shrink this week. It went okay, but I think the best thing I took out of it is the name of the psych. Max. I’ve tried calling him ‘Mad Max’ (inventive, huh?) but he doesn’t find it amusing. He’s insanely straight and I’ve run some of my best material past him, such as, ‘what do you call a singing bedspread?’ ‘Madoona’, but he still doesn’t laugh. I might have to crank up one of Ben’s jokes, which might fire Max up. ‘What did the farmer say when his harvester broke?’ ‘Oh, crop’.
Speaking of Ben, he got caught up in the dismantling by the police of ‘Occupy Melbourne’ yesterday. He took some good photos yesterday, whilst being caught up in the ‘fun’.
You know in the old days of demonstrations, we used to hold the odd bin above our head for a bit of swinging action? I’m afraid times have changed. Now it’s the casual use of an iPad for potential head clanging. Oh, one must be filming and smoking at the same time.
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Some things never change though. Full throated abuse, which is always a traditional winner.
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Ben has the height, which has many advantages, such as ‘above the crowd photo action’, plus the extra altitude for movie watching at the cinema. He’s documenting people around the city as well. Black and white for this stuff only please.
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What else? This entry had it all, complete with my first uncensored swear word. How rebellious am I? It’s completely wild in Melbourne, but I think I’m done for the day.
How about I end where I started? A combination of a cygnet and long-billed corellas I spotted at Albert Park Lake recently.
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How dare that Greenie Bastard. The nerve of some people eh?
Hi Tim, haha, a bit harsh, but that Greenie is a bit sneaky isn't he?! Even after I mentioned him in my 'Blog Appreciation' entry a few months back I get binned 🙂
Nice filler, Greg. I think once you decide to loosen your criteria for content, you'll start noticing potential short blog entries everywhere you look – every day! For instance, I just saw a dead kangaroo floating at the waterfront: BINGO!
I have debated the use of uncensored bad words in my blog – so far I've held off, so I envy your bravery! Let's see what the repercussions are. I'm certainly sick of anaemic "bloody"s and "damned"s. I know you should be yourself in blogging, but where would it end?
On the other hand, how many children or conservative religious people are reading this stuff? Who knows WHAT the demographic is?
"If my thought-dreams could be seen/They'd probably put my head in a guillotine" – Bob Dylan.
I liked Ben's photos, too.
Thanks Goat! Dead kangaroo floating through the waterfront? Yeah, that's perfect! That is the sort of stuff I'm looking for!
Yeah, I think the language can work within the right context? As long as it doesn't descend into Joe Pesci Goodfellas style then it's acceptable! Like you said, I think it's pretty adult based readers. It does depend on my mood though and today I had a mental meltdown which generated a stack of tirades. My Walkmeter with all my stored walks urban and country is now saying I've walked exactly zero kms. I'll say that again, ZERO!!!!! Some sort of stuff up with the iPhone upgrade and I have a new computer as well and the lot is gone. I'm back to Week One, Walk One and it's pushed me slightly over the edge as I have been km obsessive for that 1000 mile challenge. I think I had roughly 550 600 km in total that's now in the ether.
Love the Bob Dylan quote! Thanks for the kind words about Ben's pics. I supplied the camera, so I can ride on the back of his glory 🙂
Fickle bastards, our followers.
Then again, I don't know why anyone follows my blog..kind of makes me wonder what is wrong with them for following? *cough*
On the topic of blog punctuation- it's not a business proposal or college essay. I appreciate a vague attempt at spelling and enough punctuation to easily read a blog.
They're supposed to be online journals. If we chose to go crazy with punctuation…so what!?
(HA! Rebel!)
As far as writing about your manbits..you haven't had enough content to warrant a sidebar label, so I think you're ok.
Hi Samantha, I think people (including me!) follow your blog because you are quite funny and appear completely manic! Nothing wrong with that as at least it's entertaining!
Yeah, I like to have my punctuation pretty good, but there's lots I don't know. I've made plenty of errors which I've noticed a few days after writing, but where does it end? As long as it is not a complete stuff up I think it's okay. I write in a 'conversational' style anyway, so formal grammar rules just create a feeling in my writing as if I've got tight underpants on. You're not going to find Shakespeare on my blog although I wish I had the talent!
I'm keeping dick jokes to a minimum for a little while until the scrutiny moves on 🙂
Man, that is truly horrible about the Walkmeter screw-up. I hope you're not seriously going to be so ped-antic (there's a pun in there) about standards that you have to mentally start again! Though I must confess to doing that on a smaller scale.
Oh, I didn't mention the Curtis shots. The rare live footage I've seen of him/them shows that he had amazing presence. Yet another for my list of great "singers" who can't sing but are brilliant frontmen.
Goat, the Walkmeter flame out is quite traumatic! No, I've got some weird ideas at times, but I haven't lost it totally by thinking all the previous kms don't count and start again from zero! All the hikes I've done with it I exported, but I really should have been backing up the entire mileage each week really. Quite a balls up!
Yeah, Ian Curtis had some presence on stage! So little music as well, yet they seem to release something dug up every few years. The Joy Division carcass has been really picked clean. Amy Whitehouse is going to be the next candidate for the same method…
well I for one will be completely disappointed if there aren't a few rod & tackle references peppering your posts 🙂 It gives me a good laugh and seriously, if people are that uptight they can go and sod off. I've had a few join and drop off and its probably got something to do with the fact I drop the f bomb every few lines and like to have a rant about politically incorrect subjects every now and again. Either that or they hate my writing hahaha. Btw, Ben is seriously talented. I can't pick out my favourite between the close up on the guy at the rally or the bar scene which looks suspiciously like Container/Section 8 where I got incredibly drunk on Friday night 🙂
Eloise, don't panic, there'll still be equipment jokes, but I'll introduce each with a dick disclaimer!
Blogging can be a bit weird sometimes. Does one put on a bit of a 'good bloke' front such as Facebook and make out it's all beer and skittles? I find I need to vent about 17 times per day, but if I write like that then it might come across as if I'm suffering a psychiatric condition. Hang on? A shrink told me I'm officially bipolar! Oh no! I'm an official nut!
Thanks for talking up Ben! He actually is getting a bit of mojo going with his photos with good composition. I like how in nearly all his pictures no one is looking at the camera except of course that bloke smoking in the bar scene you mention! That's actually the waiting room for the Vegie Bar in Fitzroy. We love that place, but it can be packed such as the night that pic was taken.
He's actually in a Youtube video of the demo and I've taken a couple of screen shots showing him which I'll put on the blog at some time. What's best is he was on a school excursion, went down to see what the ruckus was about and ended up getting sucked into the hoo-hah tornado. Quite humorous as he's wearing his school uniform at the time 🙂
oh in my opinion you can never be too young to turn up at a rally 🙂 I'd probably turn up myself although I think a middle aged mother of 4 would probably look completely out of place and slightly ridiculous 🙂 oh to be young and think you can make a difference (instead of older, wiser and way more cynical lol)
I think at this rally there were quite a few older people, but when it got physical they had quite wisely left. No need to get man handled if you don't have to 🙂
Oh yeah, older and cynical is my forte!
Who are these prudes? They are probably Americans — please don't tell me that Australians get offended by dick jokes too!
Hi Sonja, I think I should just write up a special edition pecker post and get it over and done with 🙂